I keep retyping the same paragraph over and over again, deleting some things I shouldn’t say, pressing backspace because the words don’t seem to fit.
I don’t know what’s the right thing to say.

And I know everyone is going to read this.

Thank you 3E, Ms Ling, Huang Lao Shi, and all your smses as well as concerns. Thank you, I’m seriously touched, although it might not be something big enough for everyone to see, but big enough for me to feel. :D

(Have to, need to, must) Be brave and continue.

If I say I don’t feel a thing, I would be lying.
But I still hold onto the hopes left, and I still believe we can.

If I say I have gotten over it, I would still, be lying.
But it’s okay.

If I say I wasn’t angry at the start, then still I am lying.
But I am not angry anymore.

I’m not supposed to say I’m useless, not supposed to be discouraged – it’s not the correct thing to do or say, isn’t it?

My words came out in tears, and I realise what a stupid thing I have done. Crying over mistakes? Yeah, crying over split milk. Everyone understands that. Everyone gives me a pat, tell me its okay, this is just a small one, we’ll do better.
Deep down I know somehow, there’s just more to that.

HAHAHA I know you must be thinking “what the hell, seriously why she even cry lah, no big deal right?” And spamming “ -.- “ faces in your mind.

I am not strong, because my first reaction to the matter was wrong. And I am not strong, because I didn’t do what was expected of, and broke down in the end.

But I am not going to be weak. Face it, face it bravely.
No matter how much I am going to dread the next few days, no matter what, I will accept it.

On the positive side, this is the second wake up call we received this year.
And I’m sorry seniors, sorry teachers, sorry Ms Chan, sorry band.

Will update again tmr.

Labels: band

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